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Return 2: The Heart (Deputy Emails)

If you check the computer monitor at Bright Falls Sheriff Station (available easily in Return 1: The Invitation or Return 2: The Heart), you can see several email conversations sent between offices ranging from admin reminders to arguments about the coffee machine. 


Text:

Kill the joe, make some mo
from Sheriff’s Station Admin (yesterday)
to: Sheriff’s Station Team 09/12/2023 05:35PM

This is the third time this week I come in for late shift and there is no coffee in the machine.

YOU TAKE THE LAST CUP, YOU BREW A NEW BATCH.


RE:RE: Not Your Personal Assistant!
from: Officer Hannah Oshinoya
to: Sheriff’s Station Team 09/10/2023 10:39 AM

Chet I hate to break it to you but you need to have a face capable of growing a beard to make effect use of beard oil.


RE: Not Your Personal Assistant!
from: Officer Chet Yazzie
to: Sheriff’s Station Team 09/10/2023 10:36 AM

I knew Marco’s beard was too soft to be natural. What brand is he using, Lucy?


Not Your Personal Assistant!
from: Sheriff’s Station Admin
to: Sheriff’s Station Team 09/09/2023 10:28 AM

Since my numerous friendly reminders about not having personal packages delivered to the station have gone unheeded, from here on out, if you’ve seen fit to send something to the station, I will see fit to announce to the station what you have received.

Is it a federal offence to open someone’s mail?


Reminder
from: Sheriff’s Station Admin
to: Sheriff’s Station Team 09/03/2023 08:00 AM

The front desk computer and admin e-mail are not to be used for personal quarres or other unofficial business.

And remember to wash your coffee mugs.

Admin.


3rd Annual Community Outreach Barbecue
from: Sheriff Tim Breaker
to: Sheriff’s Station Team 09/07/2023 03:22 PM

Hey gang,

The annual event you’ve all been eagerly awaiting is upon us again: THE COMMUNITY OUTREACH BARBECUE. Now, I don’t want to hear any grumbling - this is a valuable opportunity to connect with the community. Statistics show that officers who are well-integrated with the communities they serve see lower instances of violent crime in their precincts, are more effective in their policing, and have overall better mental wellness. This is for YOUR BENEFIT, so take it seriously.

The community-voted dunk tank victim this year will be… drumroll, please… DEPUTY THRONTON. Congratulations! Looks like everyone’s getting retribution for that speed trap on 12C at last, eh?

A friendly reminder that anyone out sick on the day needs to provide a written doctor’s note, or you’ll be assigned a night shift for two weeks. Anyone who replies all to complain about their assignment will be volunteering as the assistant for Officer Lightfoot’s magic routine.

Tim

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